Anatomy isn’t destiny, that’s settled. Women measure up to, and often surpass, men in many
(if not all) fields in the modern post-industrial economy. With brute physical strength increasingly unnecessary as a factor of production, and the application of knowledge and the use of machines the new fundamental, the claim that women are weaker and therefore cannot perform certain tasks has become moot. Excavators build roads, robotic arms assemble cars; such operations require delicacy, finesse and exceptional multitasking abilities – all attributes women are famed for having.
All the prestigious professions are seeing an upsurge of women in their rolls, with many rising to senior management levels, including in male-dominated industries; General Motors East Africa CEO Rita Kavashe comes to mind. With the balance of university enrolment, and graduation, progressively tipping in favour of women, in the social sciences as well as the STEM faculties, this trend is certain to be sustained. Far many more women are involved in business; from the iconic Wandia Gichuru trailblazing in the fashion industry to the “conglomerate” of mama-mbogas taking out a microfinance loan, against their chama savings, to add a delivery service to their business.
These women are highly motivated, deliberate in their every action and remarkably networked. These women are highly conscious of their social, political and economic independence – and pursue it steadfastly. They are masters of their own destinies, or at the very least, do not live by the whim of their partners or the dictates of their environment. These women understand that the only way to be valuable to others is if one’s own self is of value; and that material need never lent itself to spiritual health.
These women have variously been called “Strong Women” but that phrase infers an inherent weakness in the woman, and tacitly attaches a certain masculinity to the achievements of these women. Un-consciously, the goal for the younger girls thereafter becomes to beat the boys, or worse be like them, and not to simply aspire to expend their potential. Women have always worked, they have always excelled; men, by design, simply dominated the foreground in many affairs of the patriarchal society. As it is now, women are stepping out of the background, and positioning themselves to take advantage of the possibilities available to all human beings by right.
However, even as the woman takes up greater responsibilities, often out of absolute socio-economic necessity, her maternal instinct seems not to be too adversely affected. In some cases it is enhanced. These women haven’t ceased being mothers; they’re smarter about it no doubt, but an overwhelming majority of them are still up for it, the increasingly creative ways they are going about it withstanding.
The impossible balancing act these women have mastered, juggling family and work without betraying its difficulty is simply astonishing. Even as she “wins” half the bread, often she still has to slice it, butter it, toast it, make the tea to serve it with, feed it to the little ones and clean up after. She might get help around the house but as much as is practically possible, she gets home to make the evening meal herself, see about the children’s schoolwork and emotional needs, run a bath for them, dress them up for bed, read them bed time stories and still catch up on some work before heading to bed. And who’s to say someone won’t be waiting there for certain rights!
How these women maintain psychological poise with all these demands on their person is incomprehensible. The physical burden is in itself back breaking. It’s worse when you consider that often they have to work twice as hard to earn half the respect their male counterparts are born with. Even when they snap at a truant child in a supermarket isle, that patient, loving, caring, understanding, comforting woman in them always quickly rushes back up.
It’s very tempting to declare these women angels. Well, they are not. They have flaws like all the rest of us. They too have fears, frustrations and insecurities. The difference is that they step up and take it in their stride. There’s a maternal instinct in them that recognizes that they are holding up humanity, and that if they tire or despair, we will all come crushing down.
I know one of these women and I’m going to let her take a break this weekend. Put your feet up, I’ll urge her; get a pedicure for your dainty feet, a massage to ease the weight of all those responsibilities you have to shoulder, a facial to smoothen away your frustrations. This weekend you aren’t watching your weight; on some days, chocolate is good for breakfast, because we all need a reason to exercise, on following days. And flowers; I’ll get her a regal bouquet of ruby-red dahlias and ivy and what’s that other one? Perhaps it’s safer to let the florist will pick and arrange – and just take the credit.
I feel I must do this so that, if it’s all she gets, at least for the period before the flowers wither away and she has to wrap them up and throw them out, to get back to the business of running the world, she’ll feel appreciated, loved and not taken for granted. That’ll be my little thing for these women, this weekend. What’s yours?
